layers.

  Layers
musical layer ment years, things happen.
i you, i you.
Whoever thoguht upon the grave?.
I myself am on defult.
I Sparrow will remain nameless. My heart thunderously drumming
I was sitting in the woods hearing morion natural layers
another months listening, years seconds listening
time suddenly  is dead, so was i...
random instruments in my head play
drawings dancing out my eyes, paper and crayons are my hands
layering from wave to wave, drawing blood from my crayon
i am out saddened by words. useless phrases.
soft acoustic layers crash my strong listening soul
       i have.
          i make.
             i think.
                 i will.
                     i want.
                          i love.
Currently the sun blisters the sky, if you listen closely.
every layer will come to an end.
gentle new life, a lyrical good feel
i know my little bird
i am in better bones...

:)

A few things that make me smile when i drive:
seeing people pick there nose.
seeing people sing there face off.
seeing people randomly smiling when there alone.
when i make a mistake and the other person laughs and smiles instead of screaming at me.
Reminders that we are all equal no mater how far your fingers up your nose:)

The mind

Looking up the stairs she struggles
One by one
Her harsh lived in feet
Go up
Slowly, yet painfully
I make sure if she where to loose balance
I would make sure to ketch her

I watch and think
Of all the times she's ran up and down
All the things she's taught me
All the thoughts I'm beginning to forget, remember and fade..

I stare into her eyes and it feels hallow
As if what was there has left and remains are just her body
Although it may not look the same;
i ponder and ponder what it is that may be lurking in her mind
Does she know who i am?
Does she know why i'm here?
Does she remember everything she has taught me?

As i think of all of this, I struggle in this chair trying to hold in all my emotion
And knowing if i where to cry she simply would not understand
Or at least have the energy to try and ask, if not realize

I try not to get angry
When i hear the same question repeatedly
It's hard to remeber that she simply doesnt not know

But does she not?
How could one brain simply just take everything your body and soul have done
that you put your heart into?
How can your mind just end your own life?
How could an organ take people so special away?

As i wait for him to come home
i hear her repeatedly get in and out of bed coming back and forth to me
"Dove è Nonno?"
"Dove è my husband?"
over and over
I explain

It hurts so deeply that im beginning to forget my family's spoken language
Because i simply don't visit enough
As if i took my own age into my power
To just do my own things
My stubborn way
that i dearly regret
because when she would softly talk to me
something other than
"where is my husband"
"where is your grandfather"
i can barley make out the words
As i wish so profoundly i still could understand
i can only make out words
That are not enough to tell me what she is telling me

If i just came by more if i just did as much as i use to i would understand

Looking at the face..
that will only be touched..
with the imagination of the mind.

.rip

just friends

i feel your voice vibrations carry threw my body,
like an electric pulse awaiting to be held.
not only can i never hold this...
but can i see it and love it so dearly
that it hurts...
hurts to know i will never get to feel the sound vibrations
threw my body..
but threw my thigh that may rest on yours
so amicablely..

3 wellington

alone, cold and numb
i sit here looking at all the people
with someone to hold
keep warm
and nothing around them could matter
aside to who is adjacent to them
waiting and anticipating for someone to come on this
dark and cold bus..like my soul
that is intriguing to my eye
but as always together they will hold
one another
as i sit hoping this bus will hit a ebony tunnel
and never see the light
i think and wonder why im so dark behind
the layers that may be deceiving as to whats lerking under my skin
sad sorrow that entwines with in guilt and knowing
not to wait
not to wonder
not to anticipate the feeling of feeling lust
feeling loved
feeling warm and not alone
as i know if i wait it will never come
or at least seem like never
but it doesnt seem to leave my mind
not even when multiple encounters of fire truck sirens
scurry to the scene which happens to be a hospital
wondering what could have happened
until i see a few more
a few more people keeping each other warm
laughing and whispering in each others ears
as i look out the window and try to avoid
but the reflection in the window
will never lie
i feel it in my pulse that im the only one alone
alone in my thoughts
alone in my dreams
alone in my heart
as the songs shuffle
they happen to be all love songs that sway in my ears
about the love that they have
i press forward to avoid any deeper emotion
but it wont end
so i switch to an instrumental
just so happens even the notes that spill out of the instruments
into my ears happen to sound like they where in love when they wrote it
how i miss that feeling
that feeling of having endless love spill out of every pour in my body
on to something i care for
the inner core of me knows that im not the only who feels like this
but everyone has selfish needs
not everyone can hold in
whats burning deep inside them
to the point where it comes an endless obsession
that has to stop but only will
until i find that fix

time travel..

in my opinion...
YOU CAN NOT TIME TRAVEL!
in reality...
time is not real
time is made up by humans
so we could keep persise track through night and day :)

PS.. I ALSO THINK THAT SCIENTIST SUCK majorly..
their curiosity doesn't only kill them but can kill us all..
stupid perfectionist and TRY to know it alls